How do I know if I need counselling?
Perhaps you’ve thought about counselling, but keep wondering whether your problems are “enough”. You might be feeling overwhelmed, finding relationships difficult or noticing that you don’t quite feel like yourself.
Then another thought comes along. I’m still managing. Other people have it worse. I wouldn’t even know what to say.
You don’t have to be in a crisis to seek counselling, and you don’t need to have your thoughts neatly organised before you begin.
You can start with the feeling that you’d like some support, even if you’re unsure what that support might look like.
You can be coping and still need support
You might be going to work, keeping up with responsibilities and making time for other people, while finding it difficult to make space for yourself.
Perhaps your mind feels busy even when you have a moment to rest. You may find yourself questioning your decisions, feeling distant from someone you care about or saying things are fine when that doesn’t quite describe your experience.
Being able to carry on is only part of the picture. How you feel while doing so matters too.
Counselling offers time to pay attention to what has been happening for you, including things you may have become used to setting aside.
What if I don’t know what’s wrong?
There may be a particular experience you want to explore, such as a relationship difficulty, a loss or a change in your life. Equally, there may be no single event you can point to. You might feel unsettled or overwhelmed without understanding why. Perhaps you know what you feel but find it difficult to say aloud.
You can bring that uncertainty into counselling. “I’m not sure where to start” is a starting point. You don’t need to prepare a complete account of your life or decide which experience matters most before we meet.
A few questions to check in with yourself
If you’re considering counselling, these questions might help you to notice what you would like support with:
What has been taking up the most space in my mind lately?
How have I been feeling when I’m away from other people’s expectations?
Is there something I keep putting aside because I don’t know how to approach it?
What do I wish someone understood about my experience?
There are no right answers, and this isn’t a checklist you need to complete before seeking help. You might find that one question stands out more than others.
An exercise: from “I should” to “I need”
Take a piece of paper and write down one expectation you’ve been placing on yourself. For example:
“I should be able to manage this on my own.”
Underneath, try completing this sentence:
“What I need at the moment is…”
Your answer might be time to rest, help with a responsibility, somewhere to speak openly or support with understanding how you feel. “I’m not sure yet” is an answer too.
Then consider one small way you could respond to that need. It could be asking someone for help, making space for yourself or finding out more about counselling.
You don’t need to turn your reflections into another task to get right. The purpose is simply to give your needs some attention alongside your expectations.
You can ask questions before deciding
At Held With Care, I offer person-centred counselling for adults online and in-person. We can work together at your pace, with space to explore what matters to you.
My free 15-minute introductory call is an opportunity to talk briefly about what has brought you here, ask questions and see whether working together feels right. There’s no obligation to book a session afterwards.
If you’d like to explore that possibility, you’re welcome to get in touch.
You don’t have to wait until things feel unmanageable. And you don’t have to know exactly what to say.