You sit down to get something done, but your mind moves between everything else that needs your attention.
There’s a message you haven’t answered, something unfinished at work and an appointment you need to arrange. Even deciding what to do first feels difficult.
Perhaps you keep going until you're exhausted. Or you find yourself putting things off, then feeling frustrated with yourself for not making progress.
When you’re overwhelmed, advice to “just get organised” can feel like another expectation. Before making a plan, it may help to pause and notice what you’re trying to manage.
What are you carrying?
Some demands are easy to name such as deadlines, household jobs, caring responsibilities or financial pressures.
Others are less visible. You might be worrying about a relationship, anticipating what someone will need or trying to keep everyone around you happy. These concerns can take up space even when they don’t appear on a to-do list.
You may also be carrying expectations about how you should cope: staying calm, being available and managing without asking for help.
A useful question to begin with is, “What is asking something of me at the moment?”
Your answer can include practical tasks, feelings, decisions and worries. You don’t need to organise them immediately.
An exercise: what needs attention, what can wait and where could I find support?
If everything feels tangled together, try setting aside five minutes with a piece of paper. Write down what’s on your mind, then consider these three headings.
What needs attention soon?
Look for things with a real deadline or a consequence that needs considering. Choose one manageable next step.
“Sort out university” is a large task. “Find the email with my registration deadline” gives you a clearer place to begin.
What can wait?
Some things may matter without needing to happen today. Consider what could be postponed, simplified or done less thoroughly.
You might decide that a household task can wait until the weekend or that a brief reply is enough for now. If someone else is relying on you, you can consider whether you need to let them know about a changed timescale.
Where could support help?
Is there something another person could share, clarify or help you think through?
That might mean asking someone to take on a practical task, discussing priorities at work or telling a friend you would appreciate some company.
Some of what you write down may not fit neatly into these headings. Worry about a relationship, for example, may need space to be heard rather than a task to complete. You can acknowledge it without expecting yourself to resolve it immediately.
Choose a starting point that fits your capacity
Once you’ve looked at what you’re carrying, ask yourself what is realistic for you today.
You might have enough energy to make a phone call, but not to complete everything it leads to. You may need to eat, rest or step away briefly before returning to a decision.
Try choosing one action with a clear stopping point. Afterwards, pause before moving straight to the next thing. Notice what you have done and whether you have the capacity to continue.
If making a list adds to the pressure, you can leave the exercise. Simply naming one thing that feels difficult may be enough for now.
When being overwhelmed becomes familiar
Sometimes the demands around you are too much for the time, energy or support available. A different routine may help with part of that, but it may not address everything.
You could gently consider:
What am I expecting myself to manage alone?
Which responsibilities are mine, and which have I taken on without much choice or discussion?
What keeps getting pushed aside when other people need something?
What would I like someone to understand about how things feel for me?
You don’t need immediate answers. These questions can help you notice where change, a conversation or some support might be needed.
Making space in counselling
Counselling offers time to explore what feels overwhelming, including the pressures that are difficult to explain to others. We can look at what you’re carrying, what matters to you and what you need, at a pace that feels manageable.
At Held With Care, I offer person-centred counselling for adults in Stockport and online. You’re welcome to get in touch for a free 15-minute introductory call.
You don’t have to sort everything out before asking for support.